Feeding Time

Hello everyone:

I'm guessing that if you're in New England, you're probably not reading this right now, due to the lovely ice storm you guys got as an early holiday present. How nice! Hope you guys are ok!

Blogging music today - Bad Religion Live at the Paladium. Right now, the song playing is "Fuck Armageddon, This is Hell." Damn, those guys still rock!!

Well, in my last post, I mentioned that I was in a new exhibition out here in PA. I went to the opening, not knowing what to expect - it was snowing/sleeting, the roads were icy, and some asshole was honking at me because I was going "too slow". Apologies that I didn't feel like slamming into something that night - but apparently he didn't care, since he tailed me for 2 miles and then when I parked, he made sure to slow down so I could see his middle finger. I've got a lot of ideas on what he can do with that finger, but I won't get into that now...

So, I didn't exactly walk into the opening in the greatest mood. But, actually, it was a very enjoyable evening. The gallery was packed with a very diverse crowd, drinks were flowing (perfect for driving on icy roads of course), and the show was actually quite good. I even liked how they hung my work - which I can't say very often. I made some great connections, got some good feedback, and topped off the evening with some sashimi and a glass of cold, unfiltered sake. Why can't all evenings end that way? Because I'd go broke, that's why!

Anyway, I'm having this problem that at first was surprising to me, but the more I think about it and analyze it, it makes sense. When I was "downsized" from my "job" recently, I had thought that while I was looking for a new gig, I be able to take the free time and create some great new art. Well, what I didn't realize is:

a. I have equal or less free time than I had before - because my childcare duties have increased, I'm in physical therapy for my knee and I'm looking for a new job almost every waking hour.

b. I don't feel creative right now - mainly because my fine art feeds off my success at "work."


The first point makes a lot of sense, and it was purely a miscalculation on my part. But the second part of this was very surprising to me. Obviously, one's state of mind is an important part of the creative process, but I didn't realize how much one career fed on the other. I learned early on to keep my commercial side and fine art side very separate (which is why I'm not a commercial photographer, etc.) - but I didn't fully understand the connection between the two until now.

I spoke with Ara (see earlier post) and I explained this to her, and she wasn't at all surprised. I usually know myself pretty well, but I guess on occasion, we all miss something.

I have one piece waiting to be made (about 1/2 way done) and then it will likely be time for me to start a new project. I have a very grandiose idea that I might share with you later, but it is going to take a long time to complete and planning for it could be pretty labor intensive. I have to snap myself out of this funk first - but writing about it is the first step I think.

Tomorrow is also the 1 year anniversary of my Mom's passing, and those of you who know me well understand that my relationship with her was...well...complicated. But, it's a rough time for me right now overall - which amplifies things. Also, I just found out a good friend of mine's mother is in the hospital, stricken with the same illness my Mom had. The coincidence in terms of timing, the illness itself, and the similarities in personalities between the two women is really uncanny. Best wishes for a speedy recovery...! (not calling her out by name, because the news is still very fresh).

Anyway, that's what I have for now. I'll post the new piece when it's done and I'll keep sharing news as it becomes available.

Winter is officially here - stay warm!


-Marc